I Would Give Anything...

I'm pretty sure last weekend was just about the worst weekend ever.  It all started on Thursday evening at 10:30pm when I locked myself out of the apartment where I was dogsitting.  No keys, no phone, nothing but two rowdy dogs, and me in my pajamas.  After about an hour of bothering several strangers to ask for help, borrow their phone, get a little advice/sympathy, I was directed to Pop-a-Lock.  The guy used a glorified coat hanger to let me back in to a place where I don't even actually live and then charged me an arm and a leg.  Friday was a long, busy day at work and when I finally got home and stumbled over to climb into the big comfy bed, I stepped in dog poop.  Saturday morning, I took the dogs down for a walk, paid the meter for my car that was parked on the street, and headed back up for a little more shut eye.  I kept my eyes shut for a little too long and when I went back down to reload the meter, I already had a bright yellow ticket on my windshield.  No wait, it wasn't just a ticket, it was two tickets.  One for expired parking, the other for an expired license plate.  There goes my other arm and leg.  Sunday night, a rancid smell woke me up at 3am.  I turned on the light, looked around the room, and saw poop.  Everywhere.  And a little puke to top it off.  So it's 3 in the morning and I'm on my hands and knees cleaning up dog crap.  I go back to sleep for a few short hours and wake up to a Monday that has already started off on a bad note. I walk downstairs and outside into the rain.  I cross the street to where my car is parked by a downtown park.  I look at my car and think, "Oh geez, did I really leave my window down all night?"  Nope, my window isn't rolled down.  It's shattered.  Glass everywhere.  My car has been broken into.  As if I expected this to happen (because I'm on  a pretty impressive streak of bad luck), I roll my eyes, turn around and walk right back into the apartment lobby to call the police.  I file a report, find out that it's not covered by my insurance (if I had a third arm and leg, they would be gone too) and arrange for my windows to be replaced. So on one of the busiest week's of the year, I don't even have a car to drive into work.  When it rains, it pours (into your car that is missing half of the windows). I'm in the downtown apartment lobby crying on the phone to my mom and the janitor takes a break from mopping the floor to bring me a box of kleenex.  At that moment she was a saint - it didn't take much to add a touch of brightness to my day.  I start planning a really long run to blow off some steam and then realize that my brand new, never worn running shoes (plus favorite rain jacket, gym bag, watch and ipod) were all stolen.  Who steals a pair of size 5 shoes and a pink jacket? Seriously.  Well maybe I can relax by curling up and reading.  Nope, they took my favorite copy of Les Miserables (which coincidentially is about a man who was a thief and then turned his life around).

So to recap: locked out of the apartment, stepped in dog crap, parking ticket, another ticket, even more dog poop with a touch of vomit, sleep deprevation, car broken into, barefoot running, no arms or legs.

I was seriously scared to walk down the street or turn a corner for a couple of days, afraid that a bus might hit me.  I started thinking, "Things were pretty bad this weekend, but they could have been worse, right?" And I tried to come up with things that could have happened to put me in an even worse situation: my car could have been completely stolen, I could have been kidnapped, someone could have died.

And that led me to think about the times when we say, "I would give anything for ________ not to happen."  We always say that on the back end of things when something awful has already happened.  What if we looked at that statement on the front end of things when awful things haven't already happened.

For example: what if my car was actually completely stolen, or I was in a car accident that left me a quadriplegic (literally cost me my arms and legs), or what if one of my family members died... would I give up my measley ipod and my replacable running shoes? Yes. Would I take the hit of a couple parking tickets? Yes. Would I even step in dog poop? Sure.

So maybe all of this happened in the place of something worse happening.  Instead of saying, "I would give anything..." I'm just giving it without knowing what could have happened.  I know that's a crazy train of thought, but it makes me feel a little better about my streak of bad luck.