Portland Peer Pressure

In Portland, being environmental is the cool thing to do. I'm feeling the pressure to go green - everybody's doing it! I'm looking into buying a bike, I drink herbal tea every night, weekly attend yoga classes, I feel guilty when I drive my car to church which is only a mile away (heck, sometimes I feel guilty for driving my car, period), our house is in the minority for owning a microwave, I make my own granola (the epitome of being "granola"), I'm researching how to grow an herb garden, I only use canvas grocery bags, and I'm growing dreadlocks - okay not really, but can you imagine!

A few weeks ago I pulled into my #82 parking spot at work and reached the elevator at the same time as one of my coworkers. “So, you’re the one who drives that big truck.” “Yep, that’s my car. The one with the Texas license plate.” “Mmhmm,” he says with a censorious tone. The next week, I’m sitting in the break room eating my homemade lunch (whole wheat pasta with fresh organic basil) and reading the newspaper. The same coworker walks over and points to an ad for a Smart Car. “Now that’s a nice car.” Yeah, if I want to die instantly just by bumping a curb.

Here at the office, people drink V8 like it’s going out of style. Many of the office workers won’t go a day without consuming a can of the heart-healthy smoothie. Some of them skip the hassle of swallowing the 12-ounces and simply inject themselves with the blood-red liquid through the newly invented “Don’t become a vegetable” V8 feeding tube, created through a Murdock science grant. I just recently drank my first V8. I forced the salty cold tomato soup down my throat and had to eat some chocolate candy to get rid of the taste. I guess that defeats the purpose. Our in-house V8 expert says that it’s an acquired taste. I’m going to give it another try today.

Yesterday, I visited a couple’s house and was standing in their kitchen chatting with them. The wife opens the refrigerator and gasps. She pulls out a gallon of milk, points at it and sternly asks her husband, “Where did this come from?”“I bought it at the store; it was on sale,” he replies, proud that he helped out with the grocery shopping. “It’s not organic,” she says with disgust. “But it was only 99¢!” “Exactly. I don’t want to die because of hazardous milk from mad cows injected with growth hormones.” I jump into the conversation: “I’ll take it. I love biological chemicals and stuff.”

I refuse to become a tree-hugging hippie and I will not let anyone force pan-seared tofu down my throat, but I don’t mind becoming more environmentally conscious. I guess there are worse things to be peer pressured into.

Which came first...

Which city deemed itself "weird" first: Austin or Portland? This city slogan can be found on bumper stickers, t-shirts, and tattooed on people in both cities. And which one is weirder?